my story

twilightgirl1 · Post by **twilightgirl1** » Mon 03 Mar, 2008 10:16 pm

anna was 11 when the strange things started happening.
first she just felt like she was being watched. just my imagination she thought and continued her game. then she heard the weird music that didn't really come from anywhere. the neighbor's tv? but it couldn't be that. she went back to her game.
she was a beautiful princess, taking a walk in the palace garden. beautiful roses of all colors grew everywhere. a sweet perfume filled the air. little flower fairies played tag around the flowers, knocking butterflies everywhere.
then other fairies came. unlike the mischievious, slightly childish looks the flower fairies wore on their faces; these fairies' faces were completely expressionless. she felt that if she had been able to move she could have touched the evil that came from their bodies.
she shook her head. the garden was gone and she was in her back yard. it was dark. she'd been out way too long, and now she's be in trouble.
i just let my imagination run away with me, she thought as she looked over her back yard. but, she realized, it wasn't her imagination the evil soul-less fairies came out of.
they were still there.

twilightgirl1 · Post by **twilightgirl1** » Tue 04 Mar, 2008 6:51 pm

i'd like everyon'es opinion, and i'm open to advice! XD

bookfreak13 · Post by **bookfreak13** » Fri 04 Apr, 2008 3:46 pm

Hmm, it is an interesting start and I read on.

Post by **Pikachu3828** » Thu 15 May, 2008 10:37 am

First of all, although I didn't realise it at first, you have a really good grasp of spelling and grammar so I'd like to say well done. Why I said I didn't realise it at first is because you don't seem to capitalise any letters. Why is that? It gives the impression that you can't write as well as you do. I'd like to advise you start capitalising letters and your work will begin to look professional, like I said you already have a good grasp of grammar so this isn't much to ask.

The story itself is well written but kind of creepy

It reminds me of Conan Doyle and the Cottingley fairies. It's fairly short, though and seems to end abruptly. Is there more to it than this?

twilightgirl1 · Post by **twilightgirl1** » Mon 16 Jun, 2008 2:26 am

there's so much more to it than that. actually since i posted this, i have changed it some. and i didn't use caps because when i wrote this i couldn't type, and it took so long. it took over twenty minutes to write all that. lol

Fazzy · Post by **Fazzy** » Thu 10 Jul, 2008 9:32 pm

Wow.. writing as in creating it or just entering it into the computer?

The Pika Club Forums

my story

my story

Re: my story

Re: my story